Community’s Going Viral 👨💻
Run clubs and pickleball are on the rise and are viewed as the new matchmaking central. Cafés are hosting daytime parties—fully equipped with DJs, faded barrel jeans, and latte art—for all those who appreciate their sleep and want a different vibe. Random readers find each other on social media and start book clubs online and in their cities. Swifties still gather to dance to everything from the recent sad girl anthems to the classic bops all over the country (and probably the world).
If you start to look for it, you’ll see it everywhere: community.
I began purposefully looking for it in the past couple of years because of my job. I’m on the Communications Team at a United Methodist Church, and “Build community” is a part of our purpose statement. Because of that, many of the angles we craft from—whether that be drafting social media copy, coordinating digital displays, or building webpages—have a primary goal of, well, building community. We strive every day to let people know that they are loved, never alone, and that we’re all in this together. It’s a lens I often look through, and I’m glad my eyes are being trained to search and be reminded of its importance.
I’m seeing that one of the primary reasons that community efforts are on the rise is because it’s a reaction to the pandemic and the growing disconnection that online devices can lead to. As with anything, if the pendulum swings big one way, it’ll eventually come back with a new life and momentum the opposite way. We all craved connection, so we gradually sought others with similar interests or varying perspectives and asked, “Can we be friends?”
Community Keeps Us Alive 💗
Recent research on loneliness is alarming.
Loneliness impacts mortality similar to that of smoking 15 cigarettes a day and the negative health effects brought by alcoholism and inactivity. There’s a phenomenon named the “widowhood effect,” where elderly couples often die in short succession to the other. Generally, lonely people also tend to suffer more depressive symptoms than those who aren’t in a lonely state.
We can also come up with conclusions based off of entirely anecdotal evidence: Being lonely simply doesn’t feel great. No one wakes up and says, “I want to be lonely today.” And feeling that way for an extended period—pandemic or not—is hardly in our best interests. It isn’t healthy.
I’m learning that connection sustains us more than we know. And as a natural introvert, I really cherish my time alone. I’m one to retreat and recharge. However, when I’m ready, I’m back out in my social groups, listening and adding quips whenever I see a sweet spot. Or I just bask in the joy of being among a group of humans sharing the same air, smiling, laughing, and crying together. Though it can be easy to confuse, being introverted or knowing when you need space isn’t loneliness.
It’s solitude.
Now, I have learned the difference between solitude and loneliness, so I know which to embrace and which to try and stay away from. With loneliness, there’s a lack, often not by one’s choosing. Solitude, however, occurs when a decision is made to spend time alone and dwell in that energy for a bit.
It can be a fine line for anyone trying to first differentiate between the two. But, again, with my lens and growing experiences, I’m seeing that even though I sometimes might be nervous to go to a new gathering or venture outside of my comfort zone, I am always grateful and feel so fulfilled to have done so.
Reach Out and Someone Will Meet You There 🫂
A longing for community is conditioned in our souls and very being. There’s a reason why the phrase, “It takes a village to raise a child,” is so prominent in our culture. Everything from starting families to going through the day-to-day, we simply can’t—and shouldn’t—do alone.
A friend of mine in recovery, who leads a handful of meetings every week and has done so for years, has shown me that whether you’re in recovery or just going through life, the journey is easier when we walk together. You never know what someone’s going through, true, but you also might not realize what opening yourself up to another will do for you. Begin the conversation and take the first step.
No matter the destination, we can journey together.
Find Your Circle, Then Invite Others In 😌
So, how can you live into community today?
You could start by just looking for it. Search online for events involving your hobbies or finally attend that workout class you’ve rescheduled three times. You then might also begin making efforts to create community by inviting someone different to join you on your lunch break or by hosting a movie night for your kid’s classmates and parents. Perhaps you just pull out your phone right now and send a ton of encouraging texts to people you’ve lost connection with.
For me, community is walking down the hall to talk with coworkers and friends. It’s working out with high school friends and keeping in touch with my college squad through video games and annual trips. It’s being vulnerable about my writing and creative struggles with my workshop cohort and our boosting each other up through it all. The secret is to find what community is for you, then to set aside time to continually take part. Still, I’m always searching for new ways to connect; it’s a life-long pursuit.
Out of the many things to strive for in this life, building community shouldn’t only be a trend but a constant desire. We need it. So, whether you try to create a new community, join one, or just engage in a deeper dialogue with someone, as long as we’re making mindful efforts to be with others in that space, more often than not, that’s a great place to begin. Some days, it’s even more than enough.
Life is so much better when it’s lived with each other. Keep extending your hand for others to join you in this dance we call living, and you just might see how connected we all really are. There’s space for all in this wild and wondrous world. Yes—that includes you.
